Most of the older generation frequently heard their elders say, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” However, very few were very good about following the “rule” themselves. Nana Perkins was an exception! I don’t every recall her saying an unkind thing about anyone.
When I became interested in learning about our family history I’d so enjoy hearing her talk about the family particularly the shenanigans she, her siblings, and her cousins took part in as children. Nana Perkins died when she was 97 years old-her mind still as sharp as a tack. Alas, I never had the foresight to record any of our conversations.
But I digress… let me get back to the theme of this post. Nana would never answer any of my questions about her husband (he passed before I was born), or about his family. Instead she’d simply steer the conversation in a different direction never acknowledging my questions at all. After she died, I asked my mother why she would never talk about the Perkins family. Mom replied, “she didn’t like them.”